I feel i need some major change in my life now. Anything just whatever. I don't know if it's the moods, but man i've been sucha difficult person to hangout with these days. I know i've been one, sorry. It's just that sometimes it's really nice if instead of picking on your imperfections, people made you feel better about yourself. It's not that i can't take frank feedbacks but i'm only human, i need encouragements too. Yet sadly, i... am used to it. I have to love myself to love others, so do i love myself with the constantly being pointed out flaws? It only adds to the already existing challenge and enquiry. Also, you know how you feel like you haven't been a dear to somebody and decide to change to be a better person so that history doesn't repeat itself? Somehow in the end, you'd end up feeling miserable and stuck in your own shit.

I'm sick of this same occurrence in my life, i want a change. I don't wanna be bothered, i don't wanna be sensitive, i don't wanna care. I want to be as nonchalant as everyone, how such things doesn't ever pose as a trouble to them. The best thing is you're so affected but no one ever knows what it is. So, is it me?

I hope nobody ever feels this way, it's so empty. It has gotten quite bad that most times i just feel like throwing away the phones. Everything's just different, it hurts me to see how things changed. And the clothes.. i am sick of people commenting. Sigh, it almost feels like you'd pile every single shit inside you and years later when you want to differentiate these shits, you found you'd already lost the ability to. You're just like this, blank. An empty shell.